Are you struggling with being perceived as 'too nice' when you want to be seen as a strong leader? This interview with Fran Hauser is a must-listen. Fran, the author of The Myth of the Nice Girl, brings a wealth of experience as a media executive, advocate for women and girls, and an investor in over 30 female-led companies. She’s a best-selling author, speaker, and a truly wise and genuine person.
She frequents conferences and organizations, empowering women to build fulfilling careers without compromising their authenticity. Our discussion dives into crucial topics such as overcoming the urge to please everyone, increasing self-awareness, and self-advocacy. Fran's insights shine a light on how to maintain our true selves, stay kind, and emerge as respected leaders.
[02:06] Being nice has been helpful to Fran's career. She could negotiate with real win-win outcomes. She was able to show empathy, build relationships, and deep connections.
[04:07] She also had young women coming to her and asking how she could be so nice yet successful.
[04:53] Fran became more comfortable with who she was and was able to list how being nice helped her business.
[05:30] Once she became more established, people stopped saying she was too nice.
[06:16] There are more corporate cultures that encourage employees to show up in a way that's aligned with their values. There's more diversity, and there's a huge difference in corporate culture today.
[07:13] Fran shares how she tried to get away from the nice girl image early in her career. She took bad advice and went over someone's head to get something done, and it damaged her relationship with this person.
[08:43] It felt awful to hurt her feelings. That's when I learned that I really messed up, and I'm not going to try to be a person that I'm not.
[09:30] As a leader, you can set the tone and work in an environment of respect even if you don't agree. It's more difficult when you're a team member and not the leader.
[12:06] People pleasing is having no boundaries and saying yes to everything. Check in with yourself and ask if you're saying yes because this is aligned with your priorities. Am I saying yes, because I feel bad saying no? It's an important distinction.
[14:45] Advocating for yourself doesn't mean that you're not a nice person. You can ask for more money or to be put on that high-profile project.
[15:43] People-pleasing can show up in many different ways. Fran shares an experience from her early career where she learned the importance of self-awareness and learning from her mistakes.
[17:59] Is being a nice girl a superpower? Being kind, empathetic, and warm enables you to connect more deeply and build stronger relationships.
[18:43] You need to set boundaries and not let people walk all over you or take advantage of you.
[20:27] The importance of getting feedback from trusted friends.
[21:56] Fran's head and heart are with helping aspiring authors get their books out.
[24:08] You deserve to have a great week. Be clear on what really matters to you. Where do you want to spend your time? What are your priorities? How can you set healthy boundaries around those?
[25:18] We have control over our time, energy, to-do list, and to-don't list.
Links and Resources: